Things I didn't know I was capable of

Before becoming a parent, you think you know everything about yourself. Some may even think they're invincible, and could complete any challenge handed to them on a plate. Yes, bungee jumping, eating and drinking contests, swimming with sharks, skydiving... pretty amazing feats.

And then when you bring the baby home from the hospital, for the first time, and are really on your own with a new baby, you feel like you got hit with a train and you know nothing, and are nothing, and can't do anything - every death-defying challenged you survived, doesn't compare to this new 7 pound challenger.

The challenges you face - are not death defying... they're... sanity-defying. As a parent you just go into robot survival mode, and do things you didn't realize you were capable of doing.

Like what you ask? Here goes.

- eating food that has been pre-chewed thoroughly (either because there wasn't a garbage can around, or because you didn't want to be wasteful)

- pulling things out from someone else' bum. like long strands of hair.

- listen to the same 2 minute song over and over and over again in a 45 minutes car ride. Some would even go to the extent of singing along with that 2 minute song for the 45 minutes.

- shushing at something for 30, 40, or 60 minutes straight just in the hopes you can get some shut eye.

- let someone who can't use chopsticks properly, hold your $500+ devices

- getting up in the middle of the night just to go back to 'sleep' like a contortionist beside a snotty/miserable being

- ramming your nose in someone else' bum just to smell-check if there's a poopie

- the ability to drive like an F1 racer (for those times when there's a screamer in the back), or as slow as a grandma taking scenic routes (when there's a sleeper) - this applies to shopping carts as well

- step on sharp foreign objects and not make a peep because it's nap time in the house

- goalie-like reflexes to either catch falling objects, or to catch falling children

- a 6th sense for naughtiness


These are just a few of the skills parents acquire after having children. The military should consider recruiting parents, and/or stay-at home moms (cause these skills are a lot more refined with the SAHMs) to be secret agents. We are capable of a lot of things for the sake of sanity.