Hong Kong, Here we come.... ... ........ ....

We are 10 hours away from boarding our flight to Hong Kong. I am excited that the kids will get to visit Joe's family in his old stomping grounds. However, it's only going to happen if Joe and I are able to make it off a 13.5 hour flight alive and still married.

I'm sorry I don't have a longer post, but I'm pretty certain there will be a lot to post about during the trip. Perhaps all the bad Engrish in Hong Kong. But please do forgive me if I don't post nearly as often, and if you are just DYING (I know you are), to read up on something, I'll have to dig into the archives and re-post some of the gems.

Otherwise, hope to blog from Hong Kong - finally going to attempt packing at  merry 12:30am now.

Hair Success!

Joe's hair is untamed. It's a wild bush that grows at the speed of light, and the only time it looks reasonable is when it's freshly cut. Unfortunately, he refuses to get it cut often (it costs a ghastly $11 with the cheap barber that cuts hair out of his basement; and he is often too exhausted to go out to get his hair cut).

The solution? Me. I will cut his hair. Why not? I've cut Colin's his whole life (all 2.5 years), and his head is still attached to his neck.

However, the last time I cut Joe's hair, (it was the first time with an electric razor), there was a slight... accident.

I won't go into details (which involve a bit of a discussion about his sideburns needing just a trim after his hair was done and perfectly cut), but basically a whole side-burn was shaved off. Not just kind of shaved off and could get away with it - it was gone like the wind.

After the 5 minute stunned silence, we thought of divorce solutions - maybe shave the other side to even it out? my black eyeliner to maybe 'darken' the area missing? (which we tried and... doesn't work). And after a lot of flipping between pure anger and absurdity, we just left it as is - I mean, he's a manager, and none of his employees are going to be straight with him and say - "Hey Boss, where's your side-burn today?"

Well, I am proud to announce, that tonight, we have success. I was able to mow his hair, and I found a handsome man under all that wilderness again - I have my husband again! And this time, with 2 side-burns.

On another note, other things that may test your marriage: Losing your iPhone4, cutting up your replacement credit card (right before leaving for vacay), and also almost missing a flight because you left your glasses at the hotel. I'm not exactly all that on-the-ball, and I love Joe for loving me despite it all.

He spells, kind of.

Lately, he's been spelling things out for me when he gets frustrated that I can't understand him. I thought I was the mom of a Mensa member when he spelled the other day (He Spells). Well, he's been doing it more often - maybe my hearing is going, but I can't seem to understand everything he says. So he often slows down his speech like he's talking to a foreigner.

Colin: This is Chomper, and you be Sarah, and this is (can't understand him here... i think he said Bike)
Me: Who? Trike?
Colin: No, BIKE
Me: What?
Colin: C-R-O-M-V Bike.
Me: oooh.... okay. Him.


Can't wait until we go to Hong Kong, he'll be spelling a lot of things out for people.


(btw, those are all the names of dinosaurs from an assortment of televised entertainment - with the exception of Bike. still didn't figure out who he was talking about)

Bad Mommy: Cara Stands with The Blur

We do, in fact, have another child. She just gets neglected a little, so I have to make a conscious effort to also make a big deal about the things #1 did for the first time (and which we actually freaked out and got the paparazzi camera gear out to capture).

Yesterday,  Cara finally pulled herself up to stand using the couch. It was great, and I'm a proud momma, so I just grabbed my phone to take a quick photo to email Joe to let him know. But if you look closely (and I didn't even notice this until I looked at the picture again later on in the day),there is the blur behind Cara.

To be honest, I don't even remember all the cushions strewn on the floor, and Colin hurling himself off the couch, but, at least I now recorded the day she independently stood up coincided with the day the safety rules in this house got a little looser.

Winter Haiku

Boy waiting for snow
Looking outside from inside
Too bad mom lazy

Why are Stay at Home Moms Lazy?

.

When I was checking my blog stats (I admit - the last post about 1 vs 2 kids is getting a plethora of hits so I'm getting all gitty and checking the stats every time I check my Facebook - which is a lot), a simple-minded soul actually found its way to my blog after inputting that very phrase into the search engine.

'why are stay at home moms lazy'

First off, there are 3 ways to respond to this. No response, classy, or, gnarly. If you know me, I most probably will get quite gnarly about this. My husband calls me a loose cannon sometimes - I'm not quite sure where he gets that from.

I hope Simpleton returns to my blog, and reads what I have to say to him (sorry guys, I'm assuming it was a male that did the search).


Dear Simpleton,

I am not sure whether you have children, are married or single, working or unemployed, but there are just a few things you need to know about us moms. But I have a hunch that the 'moms' you see in public, lazing about drinking their Starbucks with their Bugaboo Strollers (possibly with their nice ass and nanny in tow) give you the impression that moms don't do anything, except for sip lattes, shop, and go to the spa for manis/pedis.

Let me tell you this. That mom - is the mom we all wish to be. I don't deny it - it'd be nice to stroll around looking relaxed all the time, I'd be showing it off too if that were my life.

Here's the reality. The moms who are aren't sipping coffee, are at home (and if you're a working mother - hats off to you for coming home to only work again!) not getting paid to work our asses off.

I know what you're thinking: I'm at home ALL DAY - with the internet, television, and a fridge stocked full of food - an absolute fantasy. Why would anybody choose to work if they could stay at home?

Well, honey, the fridge don't stock itself.

On a normal day - heck I'll even give you the best case scenario - a PERFECT day, with no tantrums, no kids hurting themselves or each other, and kids listening to each and every command, with synchronized meals and naps, no errands (grocery shopping or stepping out of the house), this is what the workload with 2 kids is like.

- wake up (before i can even brush my teeth, the kids are both awake)
- get a bottle for Kid, change diaper
- Baby is awake and needs a diaper change, and a boob
- make a somewhat nutritional breakfast
- use my octopus arms to eat my own breakfast, feed Baby (who also likes to grab spoons, point to the fruit to tell Kid to eat that, grab cheerios for Baby, catch falling food
- clean the Kid and Baby up, getting the morsels of food off their face, hands, nose, hair
- set them down somewhere for 'independent learning' (ie. neglect them so I can clean the rest of the dining room from wiping down chairs, and on my knees on the floor, and then the actual dishes)
- if they're still alive, and not whining, I may just use the time to do another cleaning task: laundry - love. sweeping - just darling. cleaning bathrooms - what a dream. dishes (either putting them away, or putting them in the dish washer - a pain either way).
- at this point, I usually smell a waft of poo in someone's diaper.
- change a poopie diaper, and then spend some time with the kids reading books, drawing, pretend I'm a Dragon (that's what I've been told to be these past couple days)and basically not letting the tv sit them as tempting as it seems.
- Baby starts to get tired, so I need to get a bottle ready, and change her diaper, and put her down for a nap
- remember to breathe
- play with Kid, and check emails for our Home Biz (ChicGeek Photography) and if necessary try, just TRY to do some editing if I can hold Kid off a little longer (he's usually using me as a human jungle gym at this point) - be really interested everytime he shows me what he built, or draws, and validate his entire being every waking moment
- snack
- make a coherent grocery list (while banging my head on the desk thinking about dinners/recipes for the week)
- probably forgot to change Kid out of pajamas still, so I should put some clothes on him
- Talk in a Dragon voice, to the Triceratops stuffie, about something intelligent (like how plants grow, or what the meaning of 'responsible' is) in hopes that Kid is learning something while changing him or folding laundry
- Prepare lunch
- (repeat meal time schedule)
- Baby usually wakes up while Kid eats, so octopus hands now have to eat my own lunch and nurse in unison
- Independent Learning
- make and feed Baby real food, and then cleaning up once again
- bottle for Kid, get him settled for nap
- read stories, play puppets, fold more laundry, and put Kid down for a nap
- get Baby's bottle ready, and put her down for a nap (because this is the PERFECT day, when they nap at exactly the same time, for 2 hours)
- clean up the messes (kitchen and play areas) - because I can't actually 'relax' when I know there's a mess somewhere
- and oh here it comes... the lazy part you must think us moms do all the time: i either nap, go on the computer, or I'll just sit and stare at the ceiling and think about nothing. really - I can think about absolutely nothing... and it would be great. silence.

Okay. Are you getting the drift? I'm only at friggin 2pm here buddy. I would continue my day, but I don't want to bore the mothers out there who are actually reading this and whose heads nearly falling off nodding in agreement.

A short summary of what goes on after this? It's absolute MADNESS when it comes to dinner - Dad comes home and tosses his socks off in 2 different directions (I hold my seething mouth shut because he's had a hard day), kids are waking up from naps, prepping raw meat with sharp knives, hot stove etc. etc. And then when bedtimes, and then when the kids are FINALLY in bed..... cleaning up the chaos, maintaining a healthy relationship with the Hubs (talking to him is a good start, but not nagging... no, we're not allowed to 'ask' him to do anything to help, because that's nagging).

Oh yeah, and breathe for the third time in the day, and then sleep. Repeat cycle.


You may have your job, it may be very stressful, and you have deadlines. You want to know what my deadline is? It's NOW. Everything, and anything, has to happen NOW. There are no sick or vacation days, and no option to quit when it gets tough. Want to know what I'm supposed to achieve as the CEO of this house? Keeping a human life safe, healthy, and teach them to be responsible, creative, caring people with whatever resources I have around me (most of time it's a cardboard box or a stuffed animal). It's not the lap of luxury you think it is, but I love my job, and that's why I keep at it the best I know how - with lots of love, patience, and tenderness. I enjoy all the work that comes along with this hat, because one day, when all this crazy is gone, it just means the kids are all grown up.

Easy Cooking: Baking edition - Apple Pie (with a twist)

I confess. Apple Pie is like the symbol of a 'SuperMom'. Like gag worthy supermom. In my defense, I've baked 2 pies in my life. This is the second. The first was also a success and the only reason why I even tried to make a pie from scratch was because - why else - Colin wanted pie. He saw some show where they made a pie, and after that it was incessant whining about baking a pie.

Well, my debut pie was actually easier to make than I thought. The caloric rewards on my waist, and the smiles Joe and Colin's faces outweighed the effort that went into it, so I would consider making more pie in the future.

Well, after making 1 pie, I thought I was a culinary genius. And I think you'll agree with that statement after I tell you want I did with Pie #2.

I PUT CHEDDAR IN THE CRUST.

I thought of this all on my own - you've heard of eating apple pie with a slice of cheddar. you've heard of apple cheddar muffins. and you've heard of stuffed crust pizza. why not make a merriment of all good things in life, and have it in a pie?

Here goes the recipe:

Crust:
2.5 cups flour
1 cup butter
1 tsp salt
1 tsp sugar
grated cheddar cheese - the more the merrier (up to 1 cup? i don't know i didn't measure)
a little bit of cold water (up to 1/4 cup)

Filling:
5 Granny Smith apples (peeled, sliced)
1/4 cup butter
3 tbsp flour
1 tsp cinnamon
1/4 cup water
1/4 cup brown sugar
1/4 cup white sugar

(I adapted the recipes from here: Grandma Ople's Apple Pie, and Simply Recipes)


1. Use either a food processor (which I don't have - feel free to add that to the Christmas list) or a pastry cutter to mingle all the DRY (ie. minus the water) pie crust ingredients together. Keep cutting it until it's like a dry crumbly mixture - and if you have a food processor (either give it to me, or pulse 2-3 times).



2. Add the water little by little so that it starts to form a dough - don't put too much - you want it to just come together.

3. form into 2 discs, and cover it with plastic wrap to refrigerate (anywhere from 1 hr-2 days).

4. make the filling - cut the apples, and melt the liquid goodness on a medium low heat.

5. roll out the dough, and put one in the pie plate

6. use an egg wash and wash the interior of the pie shell so it doesn't get soggy - then put the apples in, and then the filling.



7. roll out the other disc - now's the time to show-off. you can make the topping however you want, but make sure there's a hole somewhere for the steam to vent - but go wild and fulfill your Supermom dreams. I chose the lattice cause it looks like a lot of work, but it's not. I'm like that - i like to look like I work hard, but in reality I had gnomes do my work for me.




8. Egg wash, sprinkle a little sugar on top, and put it in a 425 degree oven for 10 minutes, then turn it down to 350 degrees (for 45 minutes? just keep an eye on it - it's not rocket science if something's burning).




and here you go - my apple pie cheddar crusted pie. If you make it, I'll send Joe and Colin over to taste-test approve it.