Resolution Check Up

Warning, I am repeating myself every time I start a new entry. 'I haven't written in a while'. I can assure you of 1 true thing - I am, indeed lazy with my blog. I have been obsessing over a few other blogs, Momastery and JJ Landis | Living for Real. There is something in me, and I can't figure out what it is, spiritual, or hormonal (perhaps a combination), but I keep seeking out authenticity in everything. And lately, just reading those blogs have me staying up late and nodding my head to the point of it nearly falling off.

Then I started to re-read my own blog. To see where my journey (or what I chose to post from it) has taken me, and there it is, a resolutions list from January 2013. Well, it wasn't really a list, but it was my resolution.... thought. Yes, it was only 20 entries back, but I seem to still find myself in the. exact. same. place.

I thought resolutions were supposed to change and evolve someone, to encourage us to be better. I can't say I've really quite improved, instead I got bigger in 2013 and then had a baby in May of 2014. Otherwise nothing has significantly changed. I still feel like there are a billion things wrong. The storms are brewing somewhere in my life. But I still feel blessed and cannot fathom why I have been given this beautiful life to live. I look to God and can only continue to thank Him, but I'm pretty sure I look as confused as the awkward middle schooler on the first day of school. I just don't get it, and I am searching.

I remember back in June, 3 weeks after we just had Connor, we went back to Tofino for Father's Day. If you have not been to Tofino, it is something for the soul. For me, it's something about the vast expanse of the ocean. The sights, sounds, and feelings of simultaneous fear and awe. It feels spiritual there. I was looking around, feeling so blessed again, and only 1 word kept ringing to me. I am the kind of person that really quite hates commitment or responsibility, but this word embodies everything opposite. I couldn't help but to hear 'chosen'. Almost annoyingly deafening (but not nearly as deafening as my own mother's ultrasonic twangy nag). The only part I understood, was that there was something bigger for me (or my family) to do. The whats, whens, hows are still up for grabs. I don't even want to try to understand, but I know, deep within the storms brewing inside me might have something to do with that. I just haven't figured it out yet. So, maybe for my resolution thought of 2014, I'll go on a journey, to figure out what to do with 'chosen'.

Looking forward to 2015 (now that I've blogged my thoughts out, it is with a little trepidation!) and hope that your New Year will be a journey you can't forget. Let the good times roll.

Conversations with Colin

I often try to take the time to teach my kids something useful for life in every conversation we have. Even by having a conversation, they are being taught about communication. But in this instance, we were on our way to the dentist, and I was kindly reminding him that he will be expected to be polite and use his manners.

I was explaining to him, that they will probably ask 'How are you?', as well as a question about Christmas since it was just a couple days ago. And I was explaining to him, that it is always nice to ask a question back, and also to ask questions about their answers to demonstrate that he was listening. And listening to the other person makes them feel respected and valued. It's also just... good manners.

So, we did a couple examples.

Did you see a lot of family?
Did you have a lot of food?
Did you get to relax?

Then Colin threw this one out: "Did you have a kid?"

um.... I was confused. And laughing hysterically. And relieved that we were thankfully doing practice runs.

Me: WHY would you ask if someone just had a kid???
Colin: Well, Mary and Joseph did.

Ah.... so he does pay attention at Sunday School. Praise the Lord.

Yes, I'll be 'that' Mother-in-law

Sitting at the local JJ Bean, a song near and dear to my heart started playing. Always Be My Baby by Mariah Carey.... oh, talk about throwback days. It's just a classic for my R&B days of the 90s, along with Boyz 2 Men. Who could deny the soft luscious vocals of the queen of falsetto? I digress. That song was one of my faves, and remains top 10. So, to say my ears perked up with it started playing over the radio at the coffee shop, holding an actual baby, I was hormonally excited! It's automatic for my mouth to start singing the song, I can't help it. And then I realized, in that moment, I was singing 'Always Be My Baby', TO MY BABY.

It's funny how lyrics work, and I know that song is meant for some creepy stalker (ex)girlfriend to sing all by her lonesome self, but when I started singing it in relation to my current situation as a mother to my children... I knew I had it. I had the song for the mother-son dance at their wedding.



Sure enough, it sounds a little crazy mother in law to think: "Boy don't you know you can't escape me Ooh darling, 'cause you'll always be my baby'".

But on their respective wedding days, or any significant event really (graduation, first job, going to a sleepover, getting their driver's license, first steps) I really do hope I can sing these words and mean it:

Now you want to be free
So I'm letting you fly
'Cause I know in my heart babe
Our love will never die, no

Colin Says: Apple Juice

Colin: Mommy can I have apple juice?
Me: No. We don't have any. Kids and adults don't need apple juice.
Colin: I just died right now.

Cara Says

i've been posting to Facebook conversations with Cara. She talks. A lot. just need to have a compilation of the little conversations:


Nov. 24th, 2014
eating dinner.
Me: Oh, daddy would you like me to get you some water?
Cara: oh wait! I got water for daddy already! It's in the bathroom.

erm.... Joe was a good dad, and drank the water that was handed to him. good dad deeds.


Nov. 23rd, 2014
Cara has appointed us to be all Frozen characters. Connor is honorary Baby Elsa.

Cara: "I think Baby Elsa is hungry, and needs Anna milk."


November 18th, 2014

She corrects me when I call her Cara. Speaking to me like I'm a foreigner.

Wicked

Joe was on business a few weeks back, and as much as people thought he was on a culinary tour - he did, in fact work (a little). He also got to take in some of Broadway, and watched Wicked! Ever since, we've been listening to the soundtrack, and now I'm humming it in the grocery store, or just a few moments ago, literally singing lyrics from the songs in response to Connor's stubborn ways.

I'll set the scene for you.

Act 1:
Crying baby in car.
baby falls asleep mid ride.
Ride stops at a red light. wailing begins again.
scene repeats itself multiple times.

Act 2:
Car stops at home. Crying baby to the max.
need to get 13 other items out of the car (included an essential hot caffeinated beverage)
unbuckle the baby and he literally springs out on his own as he is released from his carrier of terror

nurse the baby as he claws at my shirt.
eats like he's never been fed before, and immediately calms down, and when he's finished, he grins, in the most wicked way.

Then, this tune pops in my head (from Defying Gravity):

GLINDA
(spoken) Elphaba - why couldn't you have just stayed calm for once, instead of flying off the handle!
(sung) I hope you're happy!
I hope you're happy now
I hope you're happy how you
Hurt your cause forever
I hope you think you're clever!

ELPHABA
I hope you're happy
I hope you're happy, too
I hope you're proud how you
Would grovel in submission
To feed your own ambition

BOTH
So though I can't imagine how
I hope you're happy right now



Here's what the song sounds :)

The Difference Between 1, 2, and now 3 kids

I've had this blog for a while. Once upon a time, I wrote a post about the Difference Between 1 and 2 kids. It went 'viral' for my 2011 standards (like more than 100 people read it!). The reason I posted that post was because I had a shower, and it was quiet enough for me to actually hear my own thoughts.


Recently, I had another shower, and I heard myself think once again, even though Connor was crying like mad in his crib. And this time, it was only 1 thought, and then I laughed because it really embodies what the third kid is all about.



"Awwwww, his angry cry is so cute!" I continued on with my hot shower.

Halloween Ideas

We're bouncing costume ideas for our lunch conversation, because I need time to find whatever it is my crazy kids want to be.

Me: what do you want to be for Halloween?
Colin: a ninja.
Me: oh that's easy! we have your karate uniform we can use.
Colin: but I need a ninja hat. you need to make me a ninja hat.
Me: wt... what is a ninja hat?????
Colin: well, it's wooden, and triangle shape.

what that means to me?

So in conclusion, my son wants to be a Chinese man for Halloween.

Oh, on top of that, Cara wanted to be Elsa. I rejected her idea. Her second choice is to be PoPo (my mom).

So, please beware of the Chinese family that is dressed up as a Chinese family for Halloween.

Cara Says Why

Me: sit in your seat Cara
Cara: but moooooom, i want to sit heeeeere
Me: no. sit in your booster
Cara: why mom? i'm a big girl and i sit heeeeeeeeereee
Me: because you are going to drop your food on the chair if you don't.
Cara: why mom?? I won't drop my foooooood
Me: because I said so.

this is usually where the conversations end.

Cara: but... why you say so moooooooom???

Mommy Wingman

Was at the playground with the kids, and there was another little girl Colin and Cara had been playing with. When I announced we were leaving, Colin sheepishly came up to me and whispered something. I couldn't hear him, so I said "WHAT?" (and I'm pretty sure that I sound like what my mom sounds to me... which is.... deaf). He asked again, and he was a bit shy, but he whispered again as quickly as he could... "Phone number?"

He wanted me to get the phone number, of a random girl he just met at the playground.

I officially just became, my son's wingman.






and - yes, I talked to the other mom and got her number. BOO YAH.

Hiatus Recap!

1 year. ONE WHOLE FREAKING YEAR I haven't posted on here! I almost forgot this existed, until I realized I had a link to it on my Twitter account (which I also rarely use). But, I'm back. I hope to post more. I have become quite nostalgic these days, and reminiscing the kids, and feeling like i'm already losing my baby (who's only 3 months old, but really, he was a baby when he was born. i already feel like he's as old as my first baby, who is 5). Which leads me to announce - we had a baby 3 months ago!

Now we're at 3 kids, outnumbered, and although we are now playing zone defense, things at the Lo house are terrifically chaotic. I remind myself that these days won't last. I feel a sense of accomplishment if I can get 1 of these things done in each group:

Group A: eat breakfast, drink a cup of coffee, prep dinner
Group B: dishes, laundry, tidying up after the kids, shower, edit/work
Group C: play with the kids, get out of the house, saying the correct name for the correct child
Group D: breathe, drink water

So, I'm hoping to hop back on my blogging wagon for the remainder of this year!