I had my big 2011 post all ready and was gathering photos for my 'glance back at 2011' post. But then I read this blog post today and decided to redirect, and just take a few things I learned from this past year as well.
I was going to just share what the family did, month by month, sharing small quirks here and there that Colin and Cara did along the way. But that's why I do have this 'Diary' of sorts.... so that I can recall that. What I should be posting from 2011 are the lessons, the gratitude I experienced, and the blessings I received.
I don't quite know where to start, or how long this post will go on for, but bear with me as I attempt to simplify my epiphanies of 2011.
Deux?
We were ushered into 2011 with the birth of our second, Cara in early February. Love her to death. But then came all the - 'what's it like with 2?' 'you must be SO exhausted' 'I can't imagine what it's like with 2' etc. etc. comments.
Well, I'm no trailblazer in this whole childbearing thing, but for the record, and what my answer has been time and time again is: It's different for every person; but for me, it's easy and I'm loving it.
I have friends in all these categories: 'I'm not ready for kids yet'. 'We're good with 1'. 'We want to do all the things we want to do first before having kids'. To be honest, I think if Joe and I didn't have 2 accidents (Colin definitely, and Cara was much earlier than we wanted for #2) I think we'd be in the third camp - wanting to do everything we wanted to do first, and then settle down and make babies.
But that's not the path that was written out for us - because I am apparently a baby factory with crazy super fertile abilities. And as of February 2011, we are now a family of 4. Some things are more difficult - grocery shopping for example. I don't enjoy grocery shopping. I hated it with 1 kid, and now I loathe it with 2. So, I love it now when I can go alone in solitude (I would think having 2 kids is a pretty steep price to pay, if I needed to appreciate grocery shopping). But, before having kids - 'going to the grocery store alone' wasn't on exactly on the list. Things like traveling, taking up a hobby, buying gadgets, eating at the restaurants we want at the time we wanted to... those kinds of things filled up the list.
But now, I'm on the other side, and I'm towing 2 kids around, and I have discovered... we are doing all those things, and are enjoying them with every ounce of our being while we are doing it as a family. We make it work, and although it's sometimes very very difficult, the rewards are endless - memories for a lifetime, and a bond between us that gets stronger with the amount of time spent just doing things together.
Since Cara was born, we've continued to develop Joe's passion for photography into our little business (ChicGeek Photo), hit up Disneyland, New York (and also NJ, PA), and the all ridiculous Hong Kong. She's only 11 months old now. We've traveled more with kids, than without. And I wouldn't have it any other way. The worst part of vacationing and the holidays, is the day when Joe has to go back to work. Not only for the obvious reason, but because Colin goes into a Daddy withdrawal because he's not waking up to him everyday. Having kids shouldn't end your life - it's where our journey began (well, the roller coaster portion of it at least).
So, to anybody who fears the unknown (and by unknown I mean children - your own children) - it's not so bad. You somehow instantly shed the ability to be selfish. And to anybody who fears the half-unknown (having more than 1), it's kind of nice to feel less stressed out with a newborn - and realize that having a small baby is easier than one that talks (to parents of teenagers, I don't envy you.)
Big Ideas
Sometimes, there are learning opportunities. And I know that Colin comprehends a lot. I have to take advantage of his innocence now, and try to instill good values while I can before he is totally exposed to the harsh realities of life.
He is 2 though, after all, so I have to simplify a lot of things. And sometimes, after I explain it to him, I just wish us adults also understood these things with a child-like innocence. These are some of the definitions I have given Colin for toughies:
Responsible: taking care of your things when you are all by yourself.
War: Fighting is bad. You are not allowed to fight. But sometimes, someone might try to hurt you and you need to protect yourself or someone else, and you need to fight back.
Patience: Waiting without whining.
Superboy: a boy who does something he doesn't want to, but because mommy or daddy asks him to.
Trust: When mommy and daddy knows you can be a good boy when we are not there
I Told You So
I am almost 100% sure my mother's heart is filled with joy. So much overwhelming joy - because... she was right. Yes, she loves the grand kids, but she loves being right more. I'm certain of it. But ever since having children - you just realize how insane your own parents are, and how much they actually love you. She was right about.... everything. *ugh*.
Didn't you hate it when they said to you 'Wait until you have your own kids'. Well, that day has come. And I fear... I fear what lies on the road ahead for the next 20 years.
But, for now - since starting our own family, there is a whole new level of appreciation for my own mom, and for Joe's parents (bless their heart... I have no clue how they were able to make it out alive with Joe being their middle child).
Sleepless nights, no cell phones, Netflix, fancy double strollers, comfortable carriers... I have no clue how they survived, but they did - and not only that, they are now contributing and playing vital roles in the lives of their grandchildren.
But, it's still annoying now even when she nags me. I don't deny it - I am stubborn still, but I'm sure 30 years down the road I'll realize (again) that she was right again, about aging issues. But for now, I'll just let her soak up these moments that I took her for granted while growing up - and now am fully appreciating her role as my mom, and as a grandma now.
Where'd the Time Go?
You will be told time and time again that it goes by fast. When it was just Colin, I remember the first 2 weeks, heck even the first 3 months seem to just crawl by. I was pretty sure time stopped when he cried, or when I wasn't able to sleep. But now I'm sitting here totally floored that he's almost 3, and Cara will be 1 year next month, especially when I keep thinking I 'just' gave birth.
I've always heard that these days are fleeting. Which is why I made an effort with Colin to soak up the moments when he woke up in the middle of the night, and I got to hold him back to sleep. Honestly - I actually would sit in my rocking chair and think about when he was older, and I wouldn't get to hold him anymore, and how much I would want these moments back, and then cry because I loved him so much. (I'm a crier though, I wail every time I read Love you Forever, by Robert Munsch. Like the ug-o-ly wail - where I can hardly talk and then when I look at my kids they freak out cause I'm going to hold on to them for dear life kind of wail.) OR, maybe I cried because I was just plain tired. Who knows.
I am trying to do the same with Cara, but she's really good. She doesn't wake up in the middle of the night, and now all I can do is just treasure and try to photograph, video, or write about these times. I am already looking back at the photos from 6 months ago, and my heart stops. It just goes by quickly, and if you don't even write down the special things from that day - you will forget. There are sometimes moments that you just need to remember, so that when they're 20 and 22, you can remember some of the small things and smile.
. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .
So, now that 2011 is far off into the distance, I look forward to what 2012 brings. We don't have as much planned as last year, but it will be interesting. Colin will be going into preschool, Cara's turning 1 and into a quick little turkey that likes stairs and all things dangerous, I'm turning 30, and Joe and I will try to lose weight. (ha). Chances are we'll see ups and downs, and surprises and stress, and like in the past, we'll just soak it up and take it all in stride. 2012, bring it.
No comments:
Post a Comment