You see, as a family, we are proud eaters. Happy eaters. And the source of great happiness while eating, was meat (oh, and family and friends too I suppose). Bbq, roasted, crispy skins, braised, cured... really, we just love it. And we still do. For goodness sakes, when Joe and I captained an Ultimate team back in 2007 he named the team 'Meat On Stick'.
Suffice to say, it is a big source of joy in our lives.
Just a few weeks back, Colin decided to ask about the mortality of chickens while eating the amazing, creative and labor intensive meal of Shake 'n Bake I had prepared. He was wondering why the chicken had to die. Naturally, Joe and I tried to package the answer up with rainbows and butterflies, but Colin was just so persistent in trying to dig to the bottom of WHY the chicken DIED.
We conceded, and just said, "So we could eat it."
Joe and I looked at eat other, not giving away any air of disappointment to Colin as we spoke about it, but we knew where this was heading; and in our family, this was a path not traveled. As Joe and I tag teamed the conversation, we touched on topics of how you need to eat more veggies to make your belly feel full, alternatives to meat, pescatarians (which he ultimately decided to be), vegans, and the whole realm of meatless diets.
It was an interesting dinner, and we left it at that.
A couple days (or weeks later, I can't remember in my mombie state), when I was prepping dinner, Colin asked if he could have a vegetarian dinner. While my immediate reaction was "Of course!", anxiety also brewed inside - not because of Colin - but because dinner prep was already underway, and now I had to figure out a vegetarian and kid friendly meal in a matter of moments. I felt the heat and was kind of up for the challenge - almost felt like I was in the Master Chef's kitchen having to think on the spot. Before I knew it, I had prepared my first vegetarian meal for my vegetarian son. To some degree, we really thought it would be just a phase (cause if we waved bacon in front him he would probably swallow it whole in seconds).
Now, after all this, I was going to post on my Facebook status, about this new found vegetarian family member - as it would be quite amusing to a lot of friends that know we love our meat. But with every sentence I started to type, it didn't feel right. There was something that kept stopping me from saying something quirky, or snarky about it all - Anything on the lines of 'HEEEELLLPPPPP we need to admit our son to meat therapy' just felt so........ wrong.
I was wondering why I felt like that, and ended up posting that yes he was a vegetarian, and for recipe ideas instead because I honestly did need help in that area now as this was all fairly new territory I was creeping on. I mean, cooking 1 vegetarian meal out of the week 'for fun' is totally different than doing it routinely, as well as making all our meals meatful, and meatless AT THE SAME TIME to make every family member
As I pondered why I had such a hard time even with wording my usual status updates, I figured out why I had such a difficult time. I love Colin. I love him for who he is, and I love his good intentioned decisions. I support him in everything he does because I am his mom, and if I didn't let him try things, answer his questions, fail, succeed, and walk beside him on his journeys, then I am not fulfilling my role as a parent.
Then it hit me. I am setting a precedence much bigger than I understood at the time. I am setting myself up, for ALL the times, he needs someone to listen and hear him. I don't care what he wants to share with me - my first and initial reaction will not be judgement, but be support and love. If he wants to tell me he stole something, I will listen. If he wants to tell me someone hurt his feelings, I'll be there. If he's going to tell me he is gay, I will hug him. With no hesitation, I want him to know that we unconditionally love him. In fact, I would love him MORE at that very moment in time, because when someone you love is vulnerable, and honest with you, they need love.
This whole snowballed in my head, and then I started to think about the gay issue. I am a Christian, and I'm Chinese. This whole thing should not be an issue. There are so many things I hate about this issue, and none of it has anything to do with the 'gay' part of it. I hate the judgement, I hate the extreme measures and lengths people go to try to make a point. I even hate the word 'tolerance'. Tolerance is just a 'nice' way of saying "You're still wrong." I hate that Christians get a bad reputation, and generally get lumped into the anti-gay crowd. Then it dawned on me.
I am for love. Unconditional Love. The true love that died on the cross for me and my sins love. God love that goes beyond all boundaries, and will sit with you and listen to your honest heart love. The kind of love that is 10 millions times stronger than my unconditional love for my vegetarian son.
That's the kind of love I hope to spread and share. So, as a meat lover, I am finally declaring my love for all you vegetarians. It's taken a while, but I get it now.
