I've recently been seeing a lot of 'perfect mom' type articles on Facebook, and websites. Not how to be a perfect mom, but how she doesn't exist. I wholeheartedly agree, and just to add my voice to the discussion instead of commenting on posts, I've decided to blog out my thoughts.
Let's identify the problem first. There is an innate desire for us to be better. That's not necessarily bad, in fact, that drive to better ourselves is what allows us to grow. But the part that makes this tricky, is the comparisons. Before the days of social media, the comparisons were made to Joan Cleaver, Carol Brady, and a slew of other stay-at-home moms that cooked great meals, mended clothing, and tended to their husbands and their needs. With social media, the comparisons keep going. With the exception, it's with friends and people in your circles, or a celebrity's Twitter feed when they are being more 'genuine' and giving us a 'peek' into their life.
The latter comparison, in my opinion, is much more toxic. We start to live a life, that is not only 'just the good bits' online, but then your relationships face to face starts to become... 'just the good bits' too. You start talking about your new diet fads, the perfect recipes (not the ones you burnt and ended up ordering take out after), the gym sessions you did go to (and if you didn't... people don't have to know), the perfect children, and well all in all.... the perfect persona has started its own life without you even knowing it. We are all guilty of that - but not because we want to appear perfect, but really because we only want to show the great parts and the 'happiest' part of our lives with each other.
I am definitely, feeding into the frenzy. We all can't help it. If you only knew Facebook Sharon, I'm pretty sure you would think we have a perfect life. I don't mention the times my husband and I fight. not just argue, I mean fight. Why would we air our dirty laundry on social media? We have plenty of photos of the kids not smiling, but those don't get posted. And what you see are allllll the awesome outings I have with the family - the vacations, the food we eat, the many experiences we take our children to (as they are literally sitting on the couch watching My Little Ponies like zombies right now).
It's not a lie. It's part of my life. the happy bits. I am happy to share those things with everyone, as those are some of my sneak peaks. But that is not the complete story. The complete story, is for you to get to know, when I spend time with you. It's not hard, I'm a pretty open person, but I don't mention a lot of stuff on Facebook either. My journey started on a difficult note. It and it grew from there, and to be honest, I feel like I am at the peak and somewhere along this journey things will go sour again. I just don't know when. In fact, I'm trying to savor the moments while I'm here at my personal peak, because who knows what really will happen. And I hope that when the imperfections come, I feel safe enough to share them with you, and find strength from a genuine circle of friends. So, let's talk and get to know the real each other sometime!
